Monday, November 26, 2007

There are days...

when I'm just not so smart.....

I started to make my Lazy Girl Miranda Day Bag this evening. Sometimes Lazy must translate in my head as "doesn't need to read directions properly." On the back cover of the pattern book there's a supplies list. Batting is listed right above Fusible Interfacing. You know what this translated to in my head? Fusible Batting. Ahh Ha! I thought, I actually have some fusible batting. (Never mind that I DO have the Fusible Interfacing already pulled out for this project)

So, in the first step you take your cover and your batting and you quilt it. Well, still having fusible batting in my head I cut my batting out, walk directly over to the ironing board, place batting on ironing board, cover fabric on top and proceed to steam away. You know what's coming right?

I fused the freaking batting to my ironing board. Exactly WHY did I think that was going to work? Momentary lapse of thought and reason I suppose. Sigh. Now I have glue and poly batting chunks stuck to my ironing board cover.

The good thing I suppose is that it forces me to replace mine. It's pretty burnt and ugly looking. In order to continue ironing I'll peel it off and use the cover below that came with the ironing board but was too ugly to ever see the light of day.

Who exactly decides the fabric patterns and colors for ironing board covers? Some nerd from the mail room? Someone who is color blind? Why aren't nice looking ironing board covers for sale in our quilting and crafting stores? Big box stores, fine but the others? COME ON PEOPLE, this isn't rocket science.

I've been Googling to find directions to make my own ironing board cover because I'll be darned if I'm going to buy yet another hideous cover. So ok, I need cotton. I need some padding. I'm guessing insul-brite or something similar? Anyone have any tips? I'm sure I can make a pattern from the craptastically designed one that is currently on my ironing board.

In my Google search I read an article that claimed that the average ironer purchases 4 covers per year. FOUR COVERS PER YEAR??? Who are these people who buy 4 covers per year because I've never met one. If this by some stretch of the imagination is some valid number then these covers are flying off store shelves and it's no wonder we've got hideous choices. They keep making more of the same ugly stuff!!


Michelle said...

Silly girl! Hey, you said you needed a new ironing board cover! I agree with you though....all of mine are getting gross and as long as they work, who is in a hurry to replace them? When you get your new one made, it will be BEEEEEEA-UUUUUUTIFUL, and we all will be envious and full of Jealousy!

Connie said...

I buy the silver/coated ironing board fabric by the yard at Jo Ann's and make my own! I just use cotton batting underneath since the silver fabric is coated (prob. w/ teflon) and made for heat. I used to actually sew pockets for pull strings, now I just lay out over the board and go! I find I really will beat up the edge closest to me--when that happens, I flip it around to the back and viola! Good luck!

vera said...

Hi Jen, you are too funny. I agree the cover are so ugly. I think they may designed by some man that hates it that his wife sews and buys fabric all the time. Anyway I also get that Grey colored fabric at Joann's, it is made just for ironing board cover, not pretty either but it works best and doesn't burn as easily as other fabric. I make a little sleeve around it for the string or elastic in order to pull it tight around the board. Very easy to do.
Post a pic of what you decide to do. Maybe you will have a new idea. Hey maybe you will find some with fusible on it and just fuse the whole thing to what you have on there,
Have a good day.

Moneik said...

I have done the exact same thing! I make my ironing board covers out of two to three layers of warm and natural, a layer of the gray ironing board fabric from Hancocks and then a really pretty 100% cotton fabric. I used the hunky carpenters for my most recent one, but also did one for my mom with pink ribbon fabric. Make one that you like!

Carla said...

4 covers a year??? I haven't bought 4 in my lifetime!

Anonymous said... are such a hoot! I used to have an ironing board cover designed by elinor peace bailey. It was fun to have a cute one and yes, they are all pretty ugly. Although the one I have now has apples on it. Not too bad. I like the hunky carpenter idea. Where do you get that fabric?
Good luck Jen! I know that we can all look forward to your solution.

This is hysterical! Hope you enjoy it.

> Have a happy period????
> I understand that this is an actual letter from an Austin woman
> sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine
> products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph...
> Dear Mr. Thatcher,
> I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20
> years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak
> Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback
> riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running
> up and
> down the beach in tight, white shorts.
> But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings.
> Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it
> is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and
> secure I
> feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
> Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered
> from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month
> is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces
> violently surging through my body.
> Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be
> transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly
> with
> knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
> As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt
> seen
> quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers
> monthly
> visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating,
> puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings,
> crying, jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a
> tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer
> fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a
> George
> Foreman Grill just because he told her he
> thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
> The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is
> just
> crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me
> to the
> reason for my letter.
> Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to
> reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always
> maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these
> words:
> 'Have a Happy Period.'
> Are you fu**ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your
> tiny
> middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
> happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything
> mentioned
> above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?
> FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will
> never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack
> yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just
> so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting
> rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
> For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to
> slap a
> moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
> something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or
> 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
> Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
> immediately,
> there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take
> my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your
> Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending
> bull sh*t.
> And that's a promise I will keep. Always!.
> Best,
> Wendi Aarons
> Austin , TX
> PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning
> letter.

Gina said...

My friend bought me an ironing board cover that was a man, naked except for a well placed towel. when it got warm the towel would miraculously disappear.
I used to do lots of ironing, but unfortunately I wore the cover out and had to get a new one.

love and hugs xxx

BitnByAQuiltingBug said...

I'm so stuck on that new word.... "craptastically" Can I use it? Do you have a pattend on it or anything? It's the best new word I've heard in ages. I love it. Ok...sorry bout the ironing board thing, but "we" all know you'll use your super powers and then we'll all want one of whatever you come up with. You like Wonder Woman or SuperGirl? You must be one of them.... Love your blog, just brightens my day and makes me laugh...Later...l

Kristie said...

Sorry, but I had to laugh when I read this, it sounds like something that I would do. I'm sure you will come up with something beautiful, as usual.

jillquilts said...

That is too funny! I thought the same thing that you did - 4 A YEAR?!?!? I haven't bought any replacements for the boards I have and I don't own 4! That's just crazy talk!
PS - I tried something with my profile to see if my email will show up on this comment. Let me know.

Maureen said...

4 a year...ohh my God!!! I don't do enough ironing to go through four ironing board covers in one year. Okay now I will take a deep, out, in, out. Yeah I'm feeling better...FOUR A YEAR...was this some weirdo who came up with four covers in one year?????? I'm just stunned. Ohh yeah I know you will figure out how to make one and I have to tell you I read JaJa's story and I about lost Aunt Flo is visiting right now I could completely understand!!!!