Thursday, May 8, 2008

If it wern't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all

WARNING!! The following post has been written with the most extreme sarcasm that I can possibly muster. This many craptastic, BS things in a two week time period has pushed me a little too far over the edge. Sanity? Who needs freaking Sanity???

Man alive. I just can't catch a break. Oh wait, before I go there...did I mention I finally got to drive the truck last night? And again this morning but on my own this time? I must have treated it poorly or something because Mike said he's driving me to work tomorrow. Such is life...giggle. That took what, 4 months? It must have been my charm with the sympathy card regarding the loss of Lucy that wore him down.

Speaking of that. When Mike and I were dating, our first Sweetest Day he gave me a card. In it he taped (electrical manly) a key to his truck saying it was a key to his heart. I have to say, I hadn't thought about the loss of this key until I had to turn it over. It's been on my ring this whole time....more as a symbol than a key to the truck. I mean sure, I used it, I was really sad to see that little piece of metal go. Not the truck mind you, just the key. So, I no longer have a piece of his heart. Sigh. Ok, the rest of you can all go to your respective corners and gag at my sentimentality.

Ok, back to my string of not being able to catch a break. Holy crap batman, it was a horrific day at work. Seriously my co-worker needs to come back from his business trip. I don't know what I'm going to do in 3 weeks when he goes on a 2 week vacation. By the time he comes back I'll probably be in a corner rocking in the fetal position. It's not that I can't work without's the support that I er, don't get from others that's frustrating and insane. I was ready to tear my hair out. Oh wait...I WAS pulling at my hair. Man, I am my mother's daughter. By the end of the day I had taken so many phone calls that I was tired of hearing my own voice.

So my car....not done but of course we didn't know that in time. My mom came out to take me to Frank's to teach my class. She was just going to hang out; she had a bag with a project and then some quilty things to cut. We went to dinner and then meandered over to Frank' find....A DARK SHOP AND LOCKED DOORS. OMG, I guess I'm lucky that I have only Sue n my class because could you imagine how this would have looked to MULTIPLE students? I didn't have Brad's number so I ended up calling Wendy. We decided that we'd just re-schedule the last session. calendar already looks like it's thrown up. This ought to be interesting.

Mom dropped me off and I sat and vegged for a bit. I've been sort of afraid to touch that quilt on my frame for the last few days.....I figured with my string of luck something bad was bound to happen to it. After a few hours I decided to load the backing. That was all I had left to load. When I was done I figured heck, why not, might as well start quilting it. I think I got through 2 or 3 of the 11 rows. Finished by Saturday? Not Bloody Likely. But, at least it's in the process of being quilted now. I hope that I can get another hour or so into it tomorrow night when I get home from Block of the Month.

Now, my car is supposed to be finished tomorrow. Murphy's law states that it will rain tonight and my car will get totally drenched since the windows are still down. Murphy...who are these stinking Murphy's anyway? Giggle...I have an Aunt with the last name of Murphy...when did she write all these laws and WHY oh WHY is she messing with me on a daily basis? Ohhh, is it because I made her a quilt that's called 'A Bit Askew?' Is she now bound and determined to make my life Askew?? Doesn't she have anything better to do? Dang that Murphy and her Laws.....

Ok, I'm punchy, and tired. I guess that means it's time for bed. Oh Oh Oh, wait....I noticed today that Crocs came out with a Golf shoe. I was soooo excited for Mike. Yeah you'd think I was explaining how Batik's were made or about blank stare. I was told that they come in pink so I should get some. Yeah...I don't want them, I don't golf. I want my hubby who loves Golf and likes or tolerates his crocs to have Croc Golf Shoes. Just cause I think they'd be cool.

Hey...I'm funny...just ask me....this blog isn't called the Insane Ramblings of a Cre8tive Quilter for nuttin' you know!! I'm padding my own walls, one quilt at a time.


Michelle said...

Have you considered writing a book about...well, anything? You are funny, even during your most stressful times. Your counter has almost 81,000 hits. What does that tell you? People love you!

As I finished reading your post, I thought about how I handle stress when it pushes me over the limit. When I get to the point that I just cannot handle life anymore, this is how I cut the stress. Are you ready? If I am home, I go grab a big towel out of the linen closet. I press it firmly against my face, open my mouth as wide as I can, take a deep breath, and I SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMM as loudly as I can, for as long as I can, and at the end of the scream, I have a huge smile on my face, and I am laughing, almost hysterically, because what I just did was so totally weird, that I can't stop laughing. Screaming releases tension. Your body feels like someone has poked a pin in you and let out a huge amount of steam, and somehow, life is tolerable again. (Of course, you also have to go get a big drink of water, and possibly a piece of candy (which also helps) because your throat is dry, but you know, there has to be side effects to every treatment!)

The first time I tried this technique, I was about 20 years old (oh, so many years ago), and I was totally frustrated with my job, which I commuted to every day, about 35 miles one way. I even had riders with me. I told them to please cover their ears, and I screamed. (My first thought was,'OH MY GOSH! THAT FELT GOOD!') I couldn't believe it! Somehow, that fixed life so I could tolerate the situation until I could move on to something different.

Fortunately, I have not had to use this technique often, but I have offered my remedy to others, and they have all taken 'Dr. Michelle's' advise, and came out laughing. (Note from Dr. Michelle: This treatment is BEST administered while in your vehicle, BY YOURSELF, with the windows UP, (going down the highway)so as not to draw attention from passersby, or local authorities, and please do not use the towel in the car, as that might draw attention too.)

So if you don't feel like screaming, that's ok, but now you will can think of your friend Michelle as a total 'nut case', and that at least, should distract you for just a few minutes anyway.
(See, I told you mental illness runs in my family!)

Chin up. Today is new day. Look on the bright side. If that doesn't work, take off your sunglasses,look directly at the sun, squint, let out a blood curdling scream, and you are bound to have a better day!

I love ya, sweetie!

Carol Van Rooy said...

Sarcastic... nah. I couldn't tell.

Moneik said...

Wow! Talk about a case of bad luck. Keep your head up and things will get better. It just takes a while to get over all the hurdles. You know we are all here for you!

teresa said...

I would trade days with you anytime! nah, not really....

Trish said...

When life gives you lemons.... make lemonade. Then mix it with Vodka!!!!

jillquilts said...

Sounds like you need a liquored up Beezlenut Splash! I'll be right there! :)

And you really like using that scolling marquis, don't you??? he he he

quiltin cntrygrl said...

OMG!! I love you Jen!! You have in the last few posts made me feel like I am not alone in this craptastic world.. LOL